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We are separated by work and family circumstances for a good deal of the time. We speak on the phone five or six times a day and we have the benefit of the net and webcams. Sexually, our relationship is good because we are open and enjoy phone sex and webcam sex. He more than me if I have to be honest. We get to spend a month together at least four times a year.
I found out recently, by accident, that he visits a website where both women and men masturbate and some couples have sex in front of their webcams. He told me he just watched and didn't participate. The part I didn't like was that he didn't tell me about this. Kept it a secret from me.

We do chat on the net, to each other, but I also found out that he created a new user ID and was going into a chat program and talking to people in "sex" rooms.

I've always trusted him until this happened. I know he feels the lonliness sometimes but I feel like this is something he should have and could have talked over with me.

What do you think?
I think it is high time to make a concerted effort to live together in the same house ASAP. Clearly the separation thing isn't working out, at least on his part.
My boyfriend webcams and flirts online, how should i react?
I'm a gay guy and have been dating my current boyfriend for seven months now. We moved in together after five.

I recently discovered that, for a good four or five months, he's been going on adult versions of Chatroulette, webcaming and masturbating with random guys that he later added to his Skype account.

I also found several emails between him and a former fling of his, living 2000 miles from us, reminiscing the time when they had holiday sex and going into details about how good it was.

At first, I was cool about it, I felt that this was kind of like porn and I didn't want to sound like I was prying or being intrusive.

But last month, I found out that all of this was still going and started to feel really bothered about it. I confronted him about both discoveries, saying that I had no liking in them and asked him about the purpose of it.

He said that there was nothing more to it and that he just did it for the fun. I asked him why he would go around saying he's single when he's not and he replied that it was a way for him to get the fish on the hook but that he would never actually do anything in person. He also thinks I'm overreacting and being paranoid.

Other than that, he's very sweet, affectionate and we both love each other dearly. And even though we don't make love quite as often as we used to during the first couple of months, sex between us is still awesome.

I am totally lost, what should I do ?
Personally I would have left this guy the first time around. If this is something you don't approve of and he's not willing to stop or at least compromise with you, then the answer is simple; leave. Especially since this seems like something that is affecting your intimate life ... why would he want to seek out pleasure over the internet when he could have the real thing? That is very much unhealthy behavoir and possible signs of an addiction.
Help opinions please on relationship situation!?
So i met this guy on the internet back in 2005, we've been speaking every night since..

im 20 atm and hes 25 ive been crazy for him since.. we've never met or spoke the phone (he says hes shy on the phone) we used to text loads everyday

so everything was perfect till mid 2007 when i typed his nickname into google and i find hes on all these swinger websites looking for sex and couples etc

i confront him he denies it and says his friend set him up..

we didnt speak for about 4 months then we started speaking again.. our feelings the same again like we were in love

we used to use webcams and talk and stuff on msn.. so i always had these doubts about him in my head

everyday i used to ask him if we can meet.. i live in leicester him in belper derbyshire.. about half hour drive or 25 mins on train..

he refuses to get on a train to see me.. and he hasnt got a car at the time..

come april 2008 he goes all funny with me and stops speaking to me because he said i was pressuring him to meet up with me .. its been three years we've been speaking on the internet!!!
he blocks my number on his phone (probably changed it)!!

i try and forget about him because im so crazy in love with him, i stopped speaking to him for 6 months and then we talk and its back to normal like we're in love..

this time he really wants me and wants to marry me and stuff (still not met yet or spoke on phone) but now im sobered up in love and have my reality cap on and tell him the pros and cons.. he still doesnt want to meet up.. so what does he want!!!!!

i made him admit that it was him that joined those websites there was a naked picture of him and i recognised him *blush* and copied the picture and threatend to send it to his family..

hes lead me on so much and ive told him off so much for being so horrible to me.

im so in love with im i wake up every morning its him i sleep and i think of him every second its him. i dream about him alot of the time too..

he is sort of a loner and doesnt really have many friends.

so today i tell him that hes not marriage material (in a much subtler way) lol and then he CRIES!!!

i cant believe it.. he tells me he really wants me and wants to be with me forever and that he wants to have babies with me and a house etc etc but isnt prepared to meet up with me.. if u loved someone youd rush to the chance to see them and want to spend every second with them...

i have built a wall around my heart and he cant no longer hurt me because i can care about him without wanting him if that makes sense.. his personality is 90% perfect apart from all this mental crazyness!!

i am stupid arent i???????????????????!!!! HELP!
Your not stupid, you seem like a very nice person who is willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but if your only live 30 min. away and have never met, it seems like he is hiding something and you have never talked to him on the phone.It seems he is leading a double life, are you sure he is not married or involved with someone else.There is no way I could go that long without meeting the other person.My brother met his wife(who lives 2,000 miles away) after 8 months.your guy sounds real fishy to me.Good luck girl.**
How do I get help with my addiction to....?
Porn. But it isn't just normal pictures and videos, which I do look at. It is on live webcams. I go to a website where I can watch people on their webcams do everything from cook and have conversations to hardcore sex acts. Both men and women, but I prefer to watch women and couples.
I also broadcast myself, but only me penis. Not me face. I like it when people are watching my camera, me playing with myself. I also take and post pictures on another website, and chat with people I meet on both of them.
My question is how do I stop doing it? I want to stop but every time I do I find myself doing it again a week later.
The best thing you can do is get away and interact with people. Have you considered how much non-productive time you are spending on this. Consider taking up a new hobby or sport--dancing, golfing, tennis, and etc. This way you are out and active, not only in a physical sport but meeting new people, interacting with everyday people. Have you considering asking yourself what it is that give you so much pleasure taking part in these activities?
Getting into something else will not mean you will not on occasion do the activities you currently are involved in. But, they will not dominate your life.
You may also consider seeing a sex therapist? You will learn a lot about yourself in the process.
Should I take her back after all that or try to move on ?
Hey everyone, first of all its been a while since I posted a question here, so it always feels good to be home again lol though i usually ask questions when I've got some troubles lol anyway, here's the problem:
my girl ( or at least i thought she was ) broke up with me yesterday, i want to mention that she has done it before and i took her back because she'd found out she was pregnant and the whole situation made her feel stressed and therefore made a wrong decision to get back together with her ex-boyfriend ( with whom she had been having sex ). it was a long distance relationship but we used webcams and i was planning to get a headset too ( we were talkin on the phone as well ) this month but since we are not longer together there's no need.

the second time was this week, she was working a 9 hour shift in a row and barely had time to talk or text even though she had asked me to do that , just to keep the smile up on her face while working. so i did and recently noticed something weird, like she didn't react or talk the way she had before. so it wasn't hard to perceive a break-up. she said she couldn't wait " keep her life on hold for 9 months for me to come there " and i thought i would never have to deal with this again , she promised it was her final decision. and when i told her that she was like " yeah til i met this guy and his family" and then "goodbye" ...

i dont seem to move on now, put everything behind my back and move along. it feels so cold without her smile, so lonely that i cuddle up with my blanket and blink a couple of times just to convince myself it was just a bad dream ... what should i do now? talk to her like a month later or even later than that when it would be like 4 month to get there, or just move on because i really dont wanna lose her. and i would take her back again even after all that . please help!

By the way , i would be glad if you leave ur aim, yahoo, etc - and share it with u. thank u a lot guys!
You need to move on. It will take time.

It’s never easy when a marriage or other significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split – and whether or not you wanted it – the breakup of a long-term, committed relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult time. Even in the midst of the sadness and stress of a divorce or breakup, you have an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person.

Tips for grieving after a breakup or divorce:

Don’t fight your feelings – It’s normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process.

Talk about how you’re feeling – Even if it is difficult for you to talk about your feelings with other people, it is very important to find a way to do so when you are grieving. Knowing that others are aware of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal. Journaling can also be a helpful outlet for your feelings.

Remember that moving on is the end goal – Expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way, but it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyze the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward.

Remind yourself that you still have a future. When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams. It’s hard to let these dreams go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones.

See the links below.

What should i tell her?
a friend of mine is totally upset with her boyfriend. they bin avin probs 4 the last 6 months,he likes 2 look at webcams of naked women and in the beginning was doing it a lot,they talked and he agreed not 2 look as often,she was ok with that but as since found out he is doing it again but hiding it from her and their sex life has dwindled over the last couple of months and he is now avin probs with keeping an erection,cud this b a result of his habit? she has bin on the fone crying 2 me and i really dont no wot 2 say 2 her,help!!
He might be looking at the webcams to practice keeping his erections so's not to disappoint his girlfriend. On the other hand, if your friend's sex drive isn't as good as it was, then this is a way he can satisfy himself without cheating on her. She really needs to sit him down, tell him she knows about the webcams and ask him where he sees their relationship going. If he wants to stay with her then he could benefit from some sex therapy.
What freaky/fetishes shall I do on webcam?
My girlfriend (yes, I am a lesbian, get over it) has gone away on a business trip for a couple of weeks, and to communicate we are gonna use webcams. Now, both of is like to explore different fetishes and get freaky when we have sex. When we are on webcam we are gonna cyber, so what fetishes/freaks shall I do for her. Both of us are willing to get as extreme as possible, so what fetishes/freaks shall I try?
Serious only
Melissa x
What ever you do you should assume the webcam pictures will be seen (and recorded) by others besides you and your partner.
Girlfriend has lighter sexual drive then myself?
Basically the girl I've been dating for close to a year now, I wonder if she has a smaller sexual drive then myself. Which would maybe make sense because I was her 1st and yea... She lives in Europe, I live on the West Coast. I met her here where I live, she was an exchange student at the time, we met in May and she left in late August. So basically it was a summer romance and now I'm going to see her for a couple weeks in Europe in April. We've been doing the whole long distance thing for close to 6 months now and it has surprisingly been working very well. We talk nearly everyday via webcams and Skype, and I love her very very much. I really do. I have remained faithful, and I'm 99% she has as well. When I met her she was very inexperienced...sexually. Again I was her first, and one her first true boyfriend. She basically experienced all the bases through me. Now that she's gone we have very good communication but there's one thing that bothers me. Whenever I bring up how I'm feeling, or talk about anything that might have some sort of sexual connotation to it, she just closes up and says nothing. She HATES when I talk about sex, or things I'd like to do with her while I'm over there etc. It wasn't a problem when she was here, but I feel because we can't physically be together at the moment there has to be some sort of intimacy. I always feel dirty or guilty when I try talking about that stuff, like I'm trying to get her to do something she doesn't want to, but I don't know what else to do, or who else to convey my thoughts to. I think I'm in my sexual prime (20 yrs old, she also is 20), and I would like for her to tell me what she's thinking. She always says "Well maybe I'm just not a normal girl." I always was pretty sexually active before I met her, and we were while she was here. Now I just don't know what to do, if I can't talk to my girlfriend about things that, then who can I talk to. By the way, I'm not asking her to cyber with me. Not by any means. She just always wonder's why I want to talk about sex, and why it's SO IMPORTANT. Realistically it's not, and I don't bring it up that often. Just every now and then, but she just shuts down. I'm wondering if maybe I just enjoy sex more than her, she just seems indifferent towards sex. Like she could care less. Maybe it's just the distance. I don't know. Sorry for my huge post lol. :p thanks again
This sounds a lot less about her sex drive than about her hang ups. She could be masturbating every night, but you wouldn't know it, because she absolutely doesn't talk about these things, and she'd really rather you didn't either it seems. It sounds as though any sort of dirty talk makes her very embarrassed or self conscious. It may be that she shuts the conversation down every time some innuendo comes up with the worry the dirty talk may be where it's going. So there are a couple possibilities. She may love you and all, but she just isn't into you that way. Or she's devastatingly self conscious about sex talk. And some people are. Or maybe she just doesn't want to get worked up as a couple over things that simply aren't possible to engage in at the moment. I'm not going to suggest ways for her to overcome this because she's not asking, you are. You can't change her. You can talk to her frankly about this and maybe get to the bottom of what her issue is, and see if there's any potential for flexibility on her part, but you can't change her. So after discussing it seriously with her, weigh whether or not the relationship still has what you need when it doesn't involve long distance sex talk.
I'm still in love..and he's not.?
I'm sorry if this is a little long..but I REALLY need some advice or I'm going to go nuts..

I dated a guy for two years. He joined the Air Force and after the first year we started seeing each other every week..we got really serious and he took my virginity..we were very much in love and spent any extra time with each other and would always call and text each other throughout the day..then all of a sudden we started going downhill after the two year mark. He was going to free cam sites to look at models strip for him and put on a little show and even tip them. I felt this was wrong. I don't mind videos..but live webcams? and you're paying them? yeah..not so much.

I explained my concerns and he just kept lying and lying and I would catch him everytime, and he knew how much this upset me..we started arguing more and more and then I dumped him. I couldn't take the lies or the arguing anymore..the stress was too much.

Since then we do see each other every week..but maybe only once..and we do still have him he still cares about me and when we're together he still holds me as he would when we dated and we even kiss just to do it aside from the sex we still cuddle and all that.

I'm still in love, and I feel as if us doing this and these things is just stringing me along..I can tell by his actions that he still loves me and he even tells me he does but does not wanna date anyone right now or for quite some time..and apparently he's not in love anymore? after all the stuff that's happened. A couple weeks ago he totally was a jerk to me and has done things to me i don't wanna explain..he can be really mean when he gets going and really controlling..telling me what to do and what not.

I love him so much and I'm so confused, why do I still have sex and how can I just move on? It's obvious he doesn't wanna date? so why am i holding onto someoen who isn't that great to anyone to begin with and why am I still in love? why can't i move past it..i feel as if tehre will never be anyone ever again..i just want him and only him..why..ugh please someone help. I am so in love with this man.
You just answered the question in the question title...'why do I still have sex' 'o why am i holding onto someoen ...'. The reason your doing these things, is because you are as you've said still in love! You can't force yourself out of love, its not like forcing yourself to leave a shoe store or whatever. Its not simple. sometimes you can't fall out of love for months, years maybe irregardless to whether you still see them or not. I felt like that, the feeling where no ones going to come along an sweep me off my feet after him and I'll be left alone collecting cats all my life (lol) but it gets better, after 9 hard months, (very hard months, before we broke up I was picking up very depressive values, enough to eventually wind me up with diagnosed depression afterwards), I got through it and I am over it. Theres no trick, its just your mind and letting go of the past. If you love him though, stay with him until he calls if off. Theres nothing like regretting a decision when in reality he MAY STILL like you. So just wait, enjoy what you have and then if it goes, it just wasnt meant to be. Everything happens for a reason, so don't be upset because its over - smile because it happend.
A very long question, please read?
I am dating a guy through the Internet. We have never met, but we use webcams and the phone. I IM him everyday, and he does the same. Warren is 15, I am sad to say, 12. Warren and a couple of other friends of his think I look more like 14, but that doesn't matter. He drinks, he smokes, and he used to do pot, but he is quitting for me, since when he does it he usually says something rude or perverted when he is high. Warren is a bad boy, a classic one. His mom and dad don't live with him, he lives with his grandma and grandpa. He is very violent, and he has killed someone. It was because he was Jewish, and that he had cracked his skull, that he killed him. He gave him an Italian Neck Tie. His friends are jerks, well some, and a couple are nice. He has a temper too. He snapped at me once, in the beginning. I told him to go f him self and that I'm going to move and become a stripper and this is what he emailed me:
NO DONT DO THAT!!!!!!! im sorry jenna i was an asshole. i just dont like seeing girls being treated like they are toys or slaves.. and im a dude. im not like most guys. i dont have just one thing on my mind (sex). ask alot of my friends that are girls. they say im a real gentleman. well until u piss me off. i stand up for whats right. the army teaches u that. and hell its drilled into my skull. and what colin is doing isnt right at all. im sorry for flipping out on u yesterday. i couldnt sleep last night i felt like such an ***. well i did sleep. and i had a dream about u. u finally stood up to colin and said no and punched him. well it was all in german why idk but its the fact alll i want u to do is just say no to ppl like colin. u of all girls should know that. your a smart, intelligent, over achiveing, young, strong personality, young woman. thats why i love you. plz just do me a favor and try and stay away from colin and if possable just say no to him, plz for me? if not thats totally up to u but if not he will continually do **** to u and ill continually plot to kill him (with a .325 sniper rifle from a .5 mile away distance while he least expect it first shot in the knee then after i get bored with him crying and in so much pain ill finish him with a headshot.) sorry just came into mind. but its all for you jenna i love you. u have a personality that believe me ive never seen b4. and ive dated alot of other girls that are like 16 or 17 and i still dont find that personality. ok i know this is a long email so ill rap it up by saying a kinda girly thing (im not gay) but yes i do poems ok here ill give this one a shot

If I Knew

If I knew how to write a song
I’d write one everyday
It would say that I’m in love with you
And why I feel this way

It would have to say you’re pretty
And as rare as a desert rose
It would say you’re a looker
From your head down to your toes

You are funny, dainty, fragile
And as feminine as can be
You’re smart charming lovely
And everything to me

You’re my comfort when I’m lonely
You’re my peace when I need rest
Of all the women I’ve known
I must rate you the best.

You’re the orchard in the jungle,
you’re the better half of me
You’re all of this and so much more,
you mean the world to me

Still so much is left unsaid,
It would take me far to long
I know how much I love you,
If only I could write a song.

I know thats a lot of reading, sorry! he is very careful not to upset me ever, not that I ever could get mad at him, but there was an instance where he said he had a crush on this girl who lives in England. I got crushed and hurt. He realized it and was very...I can't explain it, he was upset that I was hurt. He broke it off, a couple of days later, because I was drunk. Later that day, he saw me for the first time. I looked stunning, and I am a modest person. I knew I did since my older friends (all 15+) were going to take me to the mall to cheer up, before we left I wanted to show Warren what I look like. At first he asked who is in the front of the cam? I replied me silly, and he said wow you are a goddess. That may be stretching it but still, he begged and I took him back.He writes me poems and he is much nicer and softer, sometimes he yells, but not at me usually he just types it. Then says sorry just incase he scared me. Now we are dating and I couldn't be happier, except for two nagging thoughts.
1.) age difference
2.) ami (the girl he might or might not like)
Can you tell me if my fears are ligament or not. PLEASE BE NICE! I know I am young to be dating but, this is how I feel, and I think my maturity has reached a point where I can handle it. Thanks!
You are only 12! I know what it's like to feel like you have finally found the "perfect guy", but he has a history of stuff that he can be put in jail for. Also, he said he has a lot of girls that are friends, and that in NEVER a good sign... If you were to go any further with him ,the same thing would be happening evry day. Like you said, your 12, and you have PLENTY of more time to look for a good guy. Right now, you should just be focusing on school work, sports, friends, and family:)

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